He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
