Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I want you more than these girls want KFC
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
