He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I understand Curling. That high.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
