It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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