How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
