Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize