I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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