I look better un-naked...
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
