we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
