RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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