chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize