I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
