that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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