she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just had sex on a roof
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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