I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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