I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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