Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
