He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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