It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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