yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
