How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
