did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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