Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
