Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
