I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Randomize
