respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
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