She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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