Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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