Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
