its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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