And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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