I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
