I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize