I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize