You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
