we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Are my feet made of real feet?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
