Do you still have your period?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
