This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
