just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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