Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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