Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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