IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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