Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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