How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
