she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
