he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
