dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
