first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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