Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
