covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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