I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Randomize
