so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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