I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
