i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
