We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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