please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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