He disabled his match.com account in front of me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
