So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Randomize
