My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
