The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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