I wish my penis had an off switch
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
