You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
