are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Randomize
